In this heartfelt episode of Epic Begins With 1 Step Forward, Zander Sprague sits down with entrepreneur, author, and speaker Kim Sorrelle to discuss resilience, love, and finding purpose after unimaginable loss. After building multiple successful businesses, Kim faced an unexpected battle with breast cancer. Just four months later, her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away only six weeks later. Together, they explore the realities of grief, why healing doesn’t mean “getting over” a loss, and how serving others became one of Kim’s greatest sources of hope. Kim also shares the inspiration behind her book Love Is, written after dedicating a year to discovering the true meaning of love. This moving conversation reminds us that joy and grief can coexist—and that love continues long after loss.
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She Beat Cancer…Then Lost Her Husband Six Weeks Later With Kim Sorrelle
Welcome back to another exciting episode. I am so excited to have Kim Sorrelle with me. Kim, tell us who you are and what you do.
First of all, thank you so much for letting me be on your show. I appreciate it. I love your show. Everybody should be on the top of their podcast list. I love it. I’m pleased to be here. I’m Kim Sorrelle. I write and speak. I’m an entrepreneur. I started my first business while I was eighteen years old. I’m mom and grandma. I get to do all kinds of fun things in life. I do have my own show. Life is great if you’re Kim Sorrelle.
That is great. I would like to go back a little and find out how people got to where they are when they appear on my show. You said you’ve been an entrepreneur since you were eighteen. Tell me a little about where you started your entrepreneurial adventure.
My parents co-signed a loan for $50,000 and had faith in me apparently. I bought this old building that had been abandoned for a long time. I had been empty. It was an old manufacturing building. I leased the space. That did well, so I bought another building and another building. Before you know, I had millions of square feet of space that I was losing. I had other businesses along the way like a golf course, grocery store in Saint Croix, travel agency. A bunch of fun opportunities, if they came my way and it made sense. I dove in and had a great time.
That’s good. You owned a grocery store in Saint Croix.
Yes.
I’ve got to imagine that not only would it be a great excuse to go, “I got to go visit my store. It’s January. I need to go see the store.” What were some of the challenges? I’ve been able to travel through the Caribbean. I’ve got to imagine that sourcing supplies would be an incredible challenge because everything’s got to come by boat. While Caribbean timing sometimes is maybe today or maybe tomorrow is something the attitude.
It’s true, but I would say the biggest thing is the culture. You have to live within the culture. Staffing at first was very difficult, and then we found a manager who was fantastic who understood the culture. That’s what you need. It’s not an American going in. American from the mainland. That’s the US, too. It’s the US Virgin Islands, but from Michigan or San Francisco, or wherever we’re going over and saying, “This is how we do things,” because things are different in different parts of the world. Realizing that and going with the culture, not against it, but flowing with it makes all the difference in the world.
Going with the culture, not against it, but flowing with it makes all the difference in the world.
Definitely. Were there particular challenges being a foreign owner?
Not really because it’s the US. If that makes it easier, it’s our currency or whatever. That part made it a lot easier for sure. You treat people right no matter where you are in the world. No matter what you’re doing. People are people all over the world. You should be you all over the world. You should treat people right. You do that and you’re going to make friends and you’re going to be fine.
Of all the businesses that you may have owned and the buildings and stuff like that. What’s your top one or two that you’re like, “I enjoyed or I still enjoy owning that?”
I sold a couple years ago my brick and mortar. I’ll tell you. One of the toughest but I enjoyed was I bought this piece of land that had a nine hole golf course in it and turned it into eighteen holes. I added fine dining and event facilities and then bought more of that facility. We could feed 1,200 people on a Saturday night on any day of the week. There were a lot of people to keep track of and a large staff. It was so fun. Golf outings in the summer, so all of that was so fun. It was crazy. It was hectic. It was everything you can imagine, but I loved it. During the pandemic was the biggest business challenge I have ever had because they basically shut us down.
We had to figure out ways to make things work. We had to make people happy. We had hundreds of weddings on the books and brides aren’t happy. It was a very challenging time but it ended up being a great learning experience. It was interesting and we made it. We made it through with a profit, which is a miracle.
That is great. Here’s a question with the pandemic. Golf being an outdoor sport, being something that people can have that distance. Were you able to stay open? People could be outside. That’s one of the big things. I’m a road cyclist, and during the pandemic, bicycling became this huge thing because you could be outside you. You could have your distance. You could safely exercise and not be inside. Were you able to keep the golf course itself running? Again, you can space people out. You can say, “There’s a group of four. It’s up to you, but stay six feet apart.” Let’s face it. If you’ve ever played golf, rarely are two golf balls landing very close to each other.
True. I live in the State of Michigan and we had one of the toughest Governors. First, no. Even though it seems to make sense. You’re outside. You ought to be able to call. The golf course ended up doing for me in a real positive way, though, as we could social distance out for events. Even when we were able to have only 50 people at an event. We had tons and tons of space. If they have 100 people, we could space here and 50 ways far over there.
The ballers on the third green. If you want food, go over to the sixth.
You treat people right no matter where you are in the world, no matter what you’re doing. People are people all over the world.
Somehow, it all worked out.
That’s cool. One of the things I know from your background, I always like to talk to people is what I called that epic unexpected. Now you’re a cancer survivor, if I’m correct.
I am.
Let’s take a moment and talk about that journey. That’s never an easy journey. If you don’t mind. What happened? What kind of cancer did you have? What was your treatment? How are you doing now?
I’m doing great.
You look like you’re doing great.
It was a bunch of years ago. It was unexpected. I don’t know that anybody ever expects cancer, but I had breast cancer. Not in my family. I thought I went in kicking for a mammogram but my doctor insisted. That led to an ultrasound that led to a biopsy. The whole time I was in complete denial. I was like, “This is such a waste of my time. I’ve got better things to do.” When I got a phone call on a Friday afternoon telling me I got cancer, I was in shock. I had no idea how to even hear those words. I called my husband right away. I happened to be home at the time with a couple grand babies.
My husband came running home. I was 47 years old. None of it in my family. It was not in the cards. I didn’t think I would ever get cancer. He came home, and he did exactly the right thing. If anybody’s out there, if this ever happens to you, he did exactly the right thing. He came home, and helped me. That’s exactly what I needed and exactly right. My cancer was very treatable. They caught it early. I had a few surgeries. I was doing great, but then four months later, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. That was a tough one because it was pancreatic cancer.
We were told that he would probably live for about a year, probably. He was young and healthy. He was 6’3” and 175 pounds. He ate great. He was a greenskeeper at work. He was outside. He did physical work. He was in great shape. Although, he did think that donuts were the 5th food group, so he did have that going for him.
The man’s working hard on the greens. He needs some energy.
Anyway, it was very shocking and very difficult, but we had an incredible six weeks together and six weeks from the day he was diagnosed.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. I do speak about loss a fair amount. I can say I do know, but it’s not easy. One thing, I’ll do this PSA. You were talking about breast cancer. My mom who will be 86. She had breast cancer, but incredibly treatable or minor or whatever. There she was. Even though they told her after 75, she didn’t need to have a mammogram. She was still going in to get her mammograms, and they discovered just as little ductile carcinoma. They removed it. She had a minor amount of radiation and she’s doing great. Honestly, I didn’t miss a step.
This coming from a man. Ladies, get your mammograms. You’d rather know than not know. It is scary to say, “Is something coming?” Unless you have something where you’re like, “Oh.” Breast cancer is one of those things they haven’t proven that it’s genetic, but you might have a higher predisposition, that whole bracket of genes and stuff. Anyway, I’m happy that it was a fairly minor road bump for you.
Thank you. I appreciate that. You deal a lot with grief. I appreciate what you do in that space, because that’s not the easiest place to be in grief. I am writing a book on grief because it’s so often so misunderstood and judged. People judge other people’s grief.
I can say personally and professionally, absolutely. In the United States, we are horrible when it comes to dealing with death. I talked about grief. I’m aware of different places, cultures, religions and how they deal with that. In general, especially during grief, having something to do helps give you direction. I’m sure after your husband died, you felt like you were floating. You were lost. When my sister was murdered, I had no idea. I had no direction. I didn’t know what to do.
In the Jewish religion, they have Shiva. They sit Shiva. I don’t know that it reduces your grief, but it does give you something to do. With grief, it’s so important to say, “Let me create some structure around this.” It’s human beings. From a psychological standpoint, structure makes us feel comfortable. We’ve structured all around us. That makes us feel comfortable like, “I know how to do it.” For example, with all the businesses that you were running.
The golf course, for example. When you showed up, there was structure. “I know I need to do this, this, and this.” What makes it easy? If you showed up and I’m like, “What do I do?” You don’t get a lot done. I don’t know if anyone said this to you, but I’ve heard this sadly way too many times as I’m talking about Lucy and stuff like that. People are like, “You’re not over that?” No, I will never be over losing my sister. You will never get over losing your husband. I’m working my way through it. Some days are better than others. How would you get over that?
The way I picture it is, it’s like when somebody passes away or somebody close to you passes away, it’s like you’re underneath the weighted blanket. You’re just being smothered. You can’t even imagine getting out from underneath the blanket, but then little by little, you stick out a finger or maybe a hand. You might draw it back a time or two, but eventually, you get out from under it. You can get on top of it, but you never get over it.
People say that time heals and stuff. I’ll modify that slightly to say, what time gives us is the ability to build the tools that help us deal when the grief comes. The human experience of constantly learning. There are things that happen in your day and your week that first will derail your day. Let’s just say it’s a song on the radio. You’re driving in the car. The song comes on the radio and it reminds you of your husband.
At first, your day could be, that’s it. You’re just done. Your back under the blanket. With time you, you’re like, “I understand how I can deal with us.” You might have your moment but you’re able to pull yourself out of that moment quicker. If there’s stuff that you know is triggering, you get the tools that help you lessen or in some way and sometimes just go, “I recognize what’s going on. Here’s what I’m going to do.” It will stop it.
I talk to my clients in my mental health practice if they have anxiety or something, “Let’s pay attention to where you feel that or how you feel that.” Grief is the same way. There’s times where we recognize. “I know what this feeling is.” My question for you is, have you developed some things or tools that help you deal with those moments? Where you may be triggered and you’re finding that it’s working for you?
I’ll tell you something I had never heard before. Maybe you have heard this, but I’d never heard it before. When I was physically able to go back to work because I was still dealing with my stuff after my husband passed away. When I was physically able to go back to work, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I was going to go back into my businesses, but I had people running them. I took a job as a part-time bookkeeper at a non-profit organization that my father and I had started ten years previous.
Twelve days later, there was an earthquake in Haiti that killed over 200,000 people. Within two weeks, I was in Haiti. I was working and doing everything I could. I discovered that serving people is the greatest healer of grief. Getting outside yourself and serving hurting people, serving people in need. I believe that healed my grief like nothing else could possibly have.
As you said, getting out of your own brain. I know after Lucy died, I went back to work a week later and people were like, “What are you doing back?” I’m like, “I was in my apartment. All I did was think about this. I need something else to occupy my mind to do something else.” I was not the most productive employee that first month back. Luckily, I had a great manager who fully understood and was not like, “You need to deliver this.”
I was delivering some stuff but it just wasn’t as productive as I had been before and I came back to it. People don’t know how to deal with grief. People don’t know what to say. I say all the time, “There’s no miracle sentence that will make it better for me. I don’t have a miracle sentence for you, but that’s okay. “Even though it doesn’t seem paltry or small, I’m so sorry for your loss,” that is a great thing to say.
That’s the perfect thing to say. The other things that you hear are like, “He’s in a better place.” We don’t want to hear that because we want them here with us. We don’t care what place he’s been now. We want to be here.
When we hear ‘He’s in a better place,’ we don’t want to hear that because we want them here with us. We want to be here.
I get the people don’t know what to say. The people are going to say the wrong thing and I have understanding and grace. I just want the message, “I know it doesn’t seem enough to say I’m so sorry for your loss.” What everyone needs to understand is that with grief, if I knew your husband and then I saw you and said, “Kim, I’m so sorry for your loss.” I, too, may be feeling the loss of that friendship of knowing this person. There’s a mutual acknowledgment of the loss that’s very important.
It’s important for us to say, “Someone else is feeling some pain or some loss.” I never understood why we had reception lines like funerals. You would have to go through the receiving line. I was like, “It’s so barbaric. What am I possibly going to say to someone?” When I was standing there, all these friends of my sister and my family came through. I found it incredibly cathartic that here are all these other people validating my loss and I’m validating their loss. That’s why they’re there.
They too are sad about what has happened, and it’s important. I talk about sibling loss all the time. I’m an expert in this. The ultimate of grief is so important. Sadly, for siblings. our loss does not get acknowledged, and it has a profound effect. As a widow, there is something about people acknowledging that you have this profound change in your life.
You’re so right because there’s a word to it. It’s a widow or if you don’t have parents anymore, you’re an orphan. There’s always a word. When you lose a sibling or you lose a child, there’s no word for it. For whatever reason, it’s such a huge loss. Losing a sibling or losing a child, those are two gigantic losses that are not acknowledged. I don’t think the way they should be. It makes them more hurtful. It’s like, “Your sister died, oh well.” Not, “Oh well.” This is huge.
I can’t speak for my parents but having observed it, working in the field, everyone asks how my parents were but no one asked how I was. That’s a common theme if you talk to people who lost a sibling. They’re like, “Everyone asks how my parents are,” because we all recognize that losing a child is not right. The only time it might be natural is if your parents were 90 and you were 70 and go, “70 year old people do die. If you happen to be 90, I’m so sorry for your loss but this person is within,” whatever that window is.
I find the window of what is and I’ll put in “acceptable.” It’s like, “It’s acceptable for people to die at this age.” As I get older, it’s like the carrot of what is old. I used to think old was, “You’re old when you’re 60.” As I’m approaching 60, I’m like, “That’s no way. Old is like 85 now.” It’s like the car that keeps going out. There’s more recognition for parents and I’m working for there to be more recognition for or equal recognition for the siblings because the longest relationship we have in our life is with our siblings.
We expect that we’re all going to be around for a certain amount of time. Let’s say I’ve got a younger sister. Let’s say we’re both in our 80s. It doesn’t mean if she predeceased me that it’s any easier, but I’d be like, “This is the time in our life where this is more likely to happen.” It doesn’t make it easier. I hate to say acceptable but we all go, “I get that.” Assuming that your grandparents are no longer with us, but I am making a big guess. If they were 75 or 80 or whatever, you go, “I’m sad. I miss my grandmother.” This is when this happens.
I was 29 when my mom died. Way different than being whatever age your grandparents died when they were older.
I always loved to ask people who’ve experienced it. What do you do to celebrate your husband?
I do a few different things. You were talking about how it can just hit you sometimes like a song on the radio or whatever. I’ve noticed the same thing with dates. All of a sudden, it felt a little blue one day. I look at the calendar and I go, “It’s his birthday. It’s our anniversary.” Without even thinking about it, those things just creep up on you. I make our anniversaries a special day. I try to do something fun that we would do together on our anniversary. Also, at Christmas. There’s a couple of ornaments that he and I know the inside joke, too, and nobody else does. Every time I put those ornaments, I cry and laugh.
I talk all the time about celebrating the rainbow that was your person’s life. It’s not just the dot at the end. The dot that marks his death. You had this incredible full life. Even before he met you, he had this awesome life. It’s so much better to celebrate all of that. Acknowledge that he’s gone. Have those things like the ornaments that do make you sad.
My sister was killed December 9th, and then obviously, we had Christmas. Christmas can be hard, but I remind myself that Christmas day doesn’t have to be any harder than any other day. Sometimes, people go, “It’s Christmas. This has to be hard. I have to be sad. Why am I not sad? Why am I not devastated? Why am I not under my weighted blanket?” You don’t have to do that. It may be but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, with grief and stuff, people go, “It’s their birthday. It’s their angel-versary. It’s our wedding anniversary. It has to hurt.” No. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s a joyful day. You do stuff that reminds you of him and it makes you happy. We can be happy in our grief, honestly.
The two can move side by side. Joy and grief can move side by side. What do you do to celebrate your sister?
Joy and grief can move side by side.
They’re all kinds of things. My family started a charitable gift, so we do all kinds of great work in her memory. It feels so much better to do that than focus on her loss. I’ve written two books about sibling loss. I sit on the board of the Compassionate Friends, which is an organization for families that have lost a child or a sibling or a grandchild. I’m the sibling representative. I do a lot of work for Lucy and Lucy’s memory to celebrate her. When it comes to December 9th and stuff, I do a variety of things. I’ll listen to a couple of songs. They make me cry, but I listened to them because they reminded me of Lucy. I lit a candle for her. I will sometimes dance silly because we would do that. As siblings, sometimes you’re like, “Let’s just have a dance party and stuff.”
I love it.
Kim, our time is getting close to the end here, but did you write a book?
I wrote a couple books. I wrote a book during that time. I started writing when I was diagnosed with cancer because all the books were so medical or depressing. I started writing then and it was more journal-ish. That’s my first book because I was still writing when my husband passed away. Cry Until You Laugh is that book. The book that I work with a whole lot more is called Love Is because after my husband passed, I didn’t know. As you said, you just are floundering, like, “What does life bring? What am I supposed to do?” I decided if I knew what love meant that I would be doing life. I dedicated a year to figure out the true meaning of love and that’s what Love Is is.
Where can people find Love Is? How can they get a hold of you if they’re like, “We need Kim to come talk to our group?”
I am literally the only Kim Sorrelle spelled my way in the entire world because my last name has way too many letters with two Rs, two Es and Ls. KimSorrelle.com is probably the easiest place to find me and you can find my book there. It’s on Amazon. It’s wherever they sell books. I love to connect with people. I love to help people in any way I can. Reach out, please. Thank you for this incredible opportunity.
Thank you so much for coming on. I want to remind everyone that if you’re ready to begin your epic journey, go to EpicBegins.com. I want to see something. I’ve got a new book coming out in 2026. It will be called Epic Reset. I’ll tell you more about it coming up but just know there’s a new book coming out. I want to remind everyone that if you’re ready, that epic choices lead to the epic life that you want.
Important Links
- Kim Sorrelle
- Kim Sorrelle on LinkedIn
- Kim Sorrelle on YouTube
- Kim Sorrelle on Facebook
- Kim Sorrelle on Instagram
- Love Is: A Yearlong Experiment of Living Out 1 Corinthians 13 Love
- Cry Until You Laugh
- Compassionate Friends
About Kim Sorrelle
Kim Sorrelle is the director of a humanitarian organization, popular speaker, and the author of two books.
Her first book, Cry Until You Laugh, is about her and her husband’s battle with cancer after being diagnosed just four months a part.
Her second book, Love Is, chronicles her year long quest to figure out the true meaning of love, a sometimes funny, sometimes scary, always enlightening journey that led to life-changing discoveries found mostly on the streets of Haiti.