In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to embrace detours and challenges as opportunities for growth.
- The importance of believing in yourself and charging what you’re worth.
- How to quiet your mind and find inner peace.
- Don’t miss this episode if you’re ready to step into your true potential!
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Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
From Pastries To Yoga: How Rebecca Doring Embraced Detours And Found Her True Calling
I am honored to be joined by Rebecca Doring. Welcome, Rebecca, and tell us who you are.
Thank you so much for having me. I’m so honored and excited to be here. I live in Connecticut. I am a coach. I love helping wellness teachers, wellness professionals, and yoga teachers expand their businesses, overcoming imposter syndrome, doubts, and whatever is holding us back from truly stepping into doing the things we feel so inspired and lit up to do.
You didn’t start in wellness. Did you, Rebecca?
No, I didn’t.
If I read your bio properly, you’re a trained pastry chef.
That’s correct.
Being a pastry chef and doing wellness is a counter because pastry chefs make yummy stuff that we shouldn’t eat.
Yes, and even more, it’s counter in the mindset. I experienced such a contrast to how I live now, which propelled me into the world that I’m in now. As a pastry chef, you’re expected to be a perfectionist. You’re expected to strive for perfection and work under adrenaline, stress, fear, and massive pressure. How I live now is virtually the opposite of striving to calm my nervous system. I’m a meditation teacher as well, lowering anxiety, lowering stress, tuning into what lights me up, believing in myself, and having my own back. Everything is opposite to the world that I came from.
Stepping Away From Being A Pastry Chef
I believe that epic begins with one step forward and I am fascinated to understand having spent time being trained and being in this high-stress environment. How did you take your first epic step away from being a pastry chef? Of course, it’s hard. It’s like here’s what I’ve trained to do. We forget that we have choices in our life. What was that moment for you where you’re like, “I need to step away from this?”
It was a life that happened for me. At the time, I was working. I had gotten away from even the joy of pastry itself. I was most inspired by working on plated desserts in high-end restaurants. I live now in Connecticut. At the time, there weren’t any of those restaurants. I was debating on going back to New York or finding somewhere else but instead, I was working in the food industry not using my talents and being more and more stressed and burnt out. That’s when life happened. We got the news that my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Everything changed for me in that moment. The idea of continuing to work massive hours when everybody else is off on holidays, on nights, and on weekends seemed pointless to me anymore. The idea of being so highly stressed and burnt out from my job that didn’t even pay well seemed pointless to me. I was bartending at the time to make ends meet. One of my customers mentioned the word massage therapy. I still can’t explain it because none of it made logical sense, but something happened when I heard about massage therapy. I was like, “That’s interesting. I need to become a massage therapist.”
I found myself as if I was in a trance driving to the massage therapy school, having signed up for like a free workshop to check it out, not knowing what I was doing, feeling crazy, thinking I’m not even that touchy of a feely kind of person, and I’m going to learn how to massage people. I know how to knead bread, but that’s about it. As soon as I walked into the building there, I knew why I was drawn to that place because the atmosphere was such an extreme contrast to what I was used to in the kitchens. That propelled me forward. That was the biggest turning point. I don’t practice massage therapy now, but that was my entrance into this world.
I get it. I’m going to guess that you went on to become a massage therapist, at least for a while.
I built a successful business as well. I learned a lot about business that I use now, but I did until that burnt me out a little bit because it wasn’t my real passion. It guided me to see the moments when I would have deep conversations with people, hand people tools to feel better, to coach them through something naturally. Those were the moments that I loved and that’s what led me to chase those dreams.
Stepping Into Wellness
That is honestly so important. It is all part of that journey of being brave and saying, even though it’s counter to everything that the world is telling me, here’s where I’m going to go. Oftentimes taking those first few steps, understanding your destination, but not having a clue how you’re going to get there. Certainly, as I’m an entrepreneur, I get it. There’s stuff that we launch into and I have no idea how I’m doing this. Opening a coaching business or licensed professional clinical counselor or some of my mental health business. I’m like, “Here’s my shingle.” It is funny how believing in yourself unfailingly is incredibly powerful. How did you get into from massage therapy into wellness?
I was in the wellness world as a massage therapist and I became a yoga teacher and a meditation teacher. As soon as I started to feel better and started to realize that the years of stress and worry and overwhelm were not me, they were just a product of not having the coping skills and tools to calm my nervous system and find who I am. I was obsessed almost hungry for it all, willing to sign up for anything, willing to read any book, go on a retreat, take a workshop. I was absorbing it all.
I kept following the thing that was calling towards me, the thing that was drawing me towards a more fulfilling and more meaningful life, which honestly was the reason why I became a pastry chef in the beginning as well. I thought that that would bring me to that feeling of meaning and fulfillment. I continued following my love of meditation and yoga and found a mentor. I was working with a mentor. He was helping me launch an online business, but I was still holding on to my massage clients. I wanted to branch out online and teach workshop courses and all the online fancy things.
I was still holding on and then the pandemic happened. I closed my massage therapy business down. It pushed me out of the nest, and I’ve been learning how to do it ever since. Now my more recent passion is helping others grow their businesses, especially in the wellness world. I find that so many of us in the wellness, entrepreneurial world came into it for our own healing first.
Maybe we didn’t come into it to create profitable businesses and we want to help. We want to share the gifts that we have and help other people feel better, and then learn how to transition from that to building a business that can create an impact, give you freedom, and support many people. There’s a lot of learning in there. I love zeroing in and helping entrepreneurs bring their deep desires to life.
I couldn’t agree more. I am also passionate about helping people. I also realize that I am running a business and it is okay for me to want and need to make a living. Valuing what I have to offer doesn’t take me away from my purpose of health.
It expands it even more.
I know that working in collaboration with wellness people and mental health people, we can charge good money. I always like to use the example of jeans. Some jeans cost $30 and some jeans cost $400. The fact of the matter is they’re both made of denim and they’re manufactured the same way. It’s just one has a perceived value that’s higher.
Naming Your Price
Shouldn’t we all take our Lamborghini skills and sell them for Lamborghini prices versus Yugo? I know that’s an old thing, but it’s by far the cheapest car I can think of. We shouldn’t do it. There’s nothing wrong. I’m sure you want to speak about helping these other well-preneurs or whatever you want to call them and realize that it is okay. You’re still being authentic. I see that struggle. I talk to people who go, “I feel bad about having to charge people or naming this price.” I’m like, “Why? You have bills that you have to pay.”
I love this subject. I was working with a client of mine as well. The way I like to think about it is when your client pays you, they’re not buying your time. They’re not buying your expertise. They’re not paying your bills. They’re not supporting your business or your lifestyle. They’re paying for their own transformation. They’re paying for their own. They’re making a powerful statement to themselves that, “I’m choosing to feel better and I’m choosing to say no to the patterns and the things that I used to not do.”
Charging an appropriate amount for what it is that you want to offer and the transformation that you want to create is necessary and a benefit to your client. They need it. I love the saying that when we don’t pay, we don’t pay attention. It’s so true. I sign up for tons of free webinars and stuff and most of the time I don’t show up, but the things that I pay for, I’m there. I’m invested in. Especially the things that I invest in may be a little scarier on the amount, I’m all in.
Charging an appropriate amount for what you’re offering and the transformation that you want to create is necessary and a benefit to your client.
We need to give our clients the opportunity or the gift of investing in themselves, of having that moment to get the transformation that they’re looking for. That’s what payment is about. When we look at it that way, and then we get to earn a living ourselves, I like to even look at my earnings or my living as a representation of all the transformation in the world.
I’m going to take a slight detour here because I have two yoga questions for you since you teach yoga. What if my third eye is myopic?
I’m not sure what you mean.
You know how in yoga, they’re like, “Look through your third eye. When I’m doing that, I’m always wondering what if my third eye is myopic. What if it’s all fuzzy? What if I can’t see out of it?”
I see.
That’s supposed to be funny, Rebecca.
I wasn’t getting it. It went over my head. Got it.
Stupid things that go through your brain when you’re doing yoga. I’ve done yoga on and off for the past twenty years. When I do it, I find it great, but there are things that I find hilarious. At one point I was doing yoga because I wanted it for relaxation, but the stress of trying to get to the yoga class on time to be able to relax. Let’s say my day I was at a 6, but now I’m at an 8 as I come through the door because I’ve been trying to find parking. I can’t find parking and I’m going to be late. I get myself down to a 5, but I could have been down at a 3. It has nothing to do with yoga itself. It’s just that I must do this to help me relax.
As we yogis would say, that was part of the yoga. What if everything that was brought up in you on your way to the yoga class was your work to face, to see, and to work through to get to the other side?
What I found in my yoga practice is that the idea is to let your mind be free and not have thoughts in your head and relax, like when you’re doing salabhasana at the end of class, or now I could take a ten-minute nap time, but that’s beside the point. What I found is that my most successful yoga practice is what I call bed yoga. That’s when your alarm has gone off, but you haven’t gotten up. You haven’t thought about anything for the day. You’re completely relaxed. Your body is relaxed. Your mind is clear.
As a practitioner of yoga, what do you help people in their practice? It is hard to quiet our minds. There’s so much going around. I don’t know about you, but there are times when I’m trying to quiet my mind and there’s a bazillion things and I learn this thing to refocus and acknowledge whatever thought like, “I need milk.”
Misconception About Meditation And Yoga
There’s a misconception about meditation and yoga that we’re supposed to make our minds go blank when it’s an outcome. It’s a result of letting your mind be exactly as it is, which means there is both thought and silence in between. Especially in meditation, when we first start practicing, we’re looking for that quiet blissful experience and you sit down and you’re thinking about your lunch, you’re thinking about your grocery list, you’re thinking about what happened at work today. You feel even more wound up than you did before you closed your eyes.
What is happening behind the scenes is your brain and your body, your nervous system is calming and releasing built-up stress. As it’s doing that, you’re perceiving it through racing thought. Racing thought in meditation means that you’re doing it successfully, that it is affecting you positively, and that you will feel better when you open your eyes and move on with your day later.
If you keep practicing, then when enough stress has been released, when enough built-up clutter of the mind has been cleared, you can find this quieter place. You sink a little bit below those superficial thoughts of the mind. You sink a little deeper. The same goes for yoga. It’s not running away from the stress or the challenge, but rather embracing it and searching for the peace alongside it and not running away from the challenges, from the pain, and the discomfort, but tuning into it, exploring it, and going deeper within it.
When we do that, that translates into our everyday life, but we’re not trying to resist and avoid discomfort or challenges. Instead, we are designed for them. We are capable of experiencing them. When we aren’t resisting them all the time, that’s when we can experience peace. Even in a time of tragedy, even in a time of hardship, there can be peace and grounding available as well.
We are designed for challenges, pain, and discomfort. We are capable of experiencing them. When we aren’t resisting them all the time, that’s when we can experience peace even in a time of tragedy and hardship.
I couldn’t agree more. Even though it’s a hard pose for me to do, I like the pigeon pose because it’s the yin and yang. You start with the pigeon pose. If people don’t know what it is, you could look it up. It starts off and a lot of stretch is going on. If you hold on to it and you breathe your way through, after about a minute or so, those muscles that are holding on so tight literally fatigue, and then you sink into that pose. I found it very helpful as a great understanding of leaning into something. At first, it is hard. It’s going to be hard for a while, but it won’t be hard forever. There comes a point where whatever that hard is, it fatigues out, and then you get to sink deeper into it.
All challenging poses, whether it’s challenging through strength or challenging through flexibility through emotional or mental experiences that are brought up, that were stored in the body that you tap into when you’re in that pose or that sensation, what you described is exactly that. It’s learning to sit with the discomfort. When you do, then it can release and you can sink deeper. You can get to know yourself, be more connected, and deepen your awareness. Many beautiful and wonderful things can happen that support us in our daily lives.
Obstacles Are Here For Us
One of the things I talk about in my book is sometimes we say that there are roadblocks in front of us and we can’t do something. Oftentimes, our roadblocks are a mirage. They aren’t actually there. We put them in front of us. What are some roadblocks or things that you thought were preventing you, but it turns out they weren’t real? They weren’t preventing you from doing something.
I love that question. I also have a yoga philosophy that I live in all the time. I’m a firm believer that obstacles are here for us. Because I set this goal, then an obstacle is going to jump in my way, and my brain is going to tell me, “See, I can’t have what I want. See, I can’t achieve it. See, I’m not strong enough. I’m not knowledgeable enough. I’m not skilled enough to have this thing.” In actuality, it’s the universe or the world saying, “You set this goal. You need to overcome this obstacle to gain the skill required to achieve the goal.”
I have experienced that so many times. I’m trying to think of a specific example. Everything that’s led me to where I am started as a roadblock. When the pandemic happened and I was pushed out of the nest sooner than I wanted to be and launched into building my online business, I was struggling. I had so many obstacles. Many obstacles were telling me that I could not have an online business. I could not have a successful online business. I could not put myself out there. I couldn’t figure out the marketing. I couldn’t figure out the message. I couldn’t figure out how to connect and find my people.
In every single one of those obstacles, I needed to find the answers. I needed to build the resilience, strength, skills, and knowledge that I now use every day in my personal business. I now have all of those skills available to me to help other businesses when they’re facing those same obstacles. A lot of the failed “experiences” of my past that I thought, “I’m going to learn this business thing so I can launch this specific meditation thing that didn’t work out.” I now use those with other businesses within my one-on-one mentorships and I use it constantly. I couldn’t then but now I’m so grateful for all of those obstacles because they are serving me. Now when I face an obstacle that I can’t see through, I say, “How is this happening for me?”
Failure And Detours
There are two sides. One, failure is part of the journey. No matter what we do and no matter what our journey is, there are parts of it that don’t go right. I also believe that we have detours. Oftentimes, the detours are so much better. Studying psychology, I know that we are creatures of habit. We like structure and we like knowing. For example, I used to work in the corporate world. I drove to work the same way every single day because this works.
One day, I couldn’t go home the two different ways that I normally did, so I had to find a new way to get home. I discovered a much prettier ride. It took about six minutes longer and I never entertained the fact that there was more than one route for me to do. We all do it. I’m sure that when you go to the store, you go to the supermarket or whatever, you drive the same way every time because that’s how you get there.
We never entertain that maybe there’s a slightly different way. You could take a left on this street and go down here. Maybe there’s a beautiful street, gorgeous trees that in the fall in Connecticut, you’re like, “Look at that.” We don’t entertain it because our brain is like, “I know how to do it. I don’t like change.” That being said, do you have a detour that you could think of?
The pandemic for me also was a ginormous detour of the path I thought I was going to go on was not possible. I couldn’t go out and give speeches because we couldn’t leave our house so I had to figure out. What is a detour that you may have faced that forced you to do something or it’s a detour that you may have encountered that you’re like, “That turned out to be good?”
There are so many. My entire business has been one detour after another. In eighth grade, I knew I would become a famous pastry chef one day. One detour after another led me to here. I love to think about it’s easy to connect the dots looking back. When I look back, I can see moments where I thought, “I’m going down this road. It’s terrible. I wish I was doing the thing that I could rely on that I expected.” It turned out to be the greatest gift that life could offer me.
The next thing happened that way. Every turn in my business has been a detour that I did not expect, which has taught me to not be so attached to what we expect our lives to look like and instead to lean into those little twists and turns of life because you have no idea what’s around the corner. I find that the universe understands what I need far better than I do. It always turns out to work out so much better than I could have asked for.
Don’t be attached to what we expect our lives to look like. Instead, lean into those little twists and turns of life because you have no idea what’s around the corner.
Rebecca, this has been an awesome conversation.
It has. Thank you so much.
Sadly, our time goes so quickly. If people want to get a hold of you, how can they?
I have a podcast, in case any podcast listeners want to check out another podcast as well. It’s called Inner Critic Freedom. Find me on Instagram, @RebeccaDoringMeditation. My website is www.DeepRootedBliss.com.
Rebecca, thank you so much for coming in and sharing. It has been awesome.
Thank you so much for having me.
I want to remind everyone that if you go to EpicBegins.com, you can find some self-study courses. If you put in Epic Begins, you get a $50 discount on any of my online courses. As always, remember, epic choices lead to the epic life that we all want.
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About Rebecca Doring
Rebecca Doring helps yoga teachers and wellness-based business owners get unstuck and take consistent action in their businesses so they can get paid to do what lights them up, become an industry leader, and create a bigger impact. She’s a Meditation Teacher, Chromatic Yoga Instructor, Inner Critic Coach, and host of the podcast Inner Critic Freedom.