Manal blends a sharp analytical mind with deep spiritual insight, offering a refreshing take on personal growth that bridges logic and intuition. Together, she and Zander explore what it means to stop striving and start aligning—to realize that we are already worthy, already love, already free. From the joy of pursuing epic goals to navigating the emotional potholes along the way, this episode dives into the beauty of becoming without pressure.
Whether you’re manifesting a dream, climbing your next personal mountain, or just trying to reconnect with your true self, this conversation will help you shift your perspective and reignite your journey. Full of wisdom, laughter, and undeniable energy, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.
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Manifestation, Self-Worth, And The Joy Of ‘Not Yet’ With Manal El-Ramly
I am so honored to be joined by Manal El-Ramly. Manal, tell us who you are and what you do.
Discovering Your Epic Self: Manal’s Journey Beyond Engineering
Fabulous. Zander, it’s so exciting. I keep saying epic, but I don’t want to overuse the word epic, but I don’t think you can.
No, I don’t think so either.
It’s so epic to be here and I’m really excited to see how our energies meet during this interview and conversation and how your audience enjoy. Who am I? The simplest answer, Zander is I am. That answer unifies all of us and it gets to the bottom line. In terms of a person, in terms of my journey, in terms of my story, I have been like, you know how you taste and you try to figure out, how do you frame yourself to give a fingerprint? I am engineer mind meets spiritual guide.
I have a very analytic approach because of my Mechanical Engineering degrees. I have a Bachelor’s in Mechanical Engineering and my dad is the engineer and very analytical and lowest common denominator and root cause. How do you look at this from an analytical process mind, but I’ve also have always been a seeker. I’ve always been like asking, questioning why.
Why? Who am I? Who are you? Why is your experience different and why is it even relevant when we connect to each other to say who we are? It’s not just our energies, our life, our vitality that speaks for who we are. I’ve always been a seeker and that seeker was since a child, as long as I remember. The answers have come through religion. I don’t want to use the word heavily, but I’ve studied with a lot of curiosities, better, all of the major religions.
I have read fiction. I am a reader. All fiction is actually nonfiction. It talks to what the elements of life is. I still consider myself a professional, but during my professional career, all of the books, Malcolm Gladwell and Good To Great, The E-Myth, all of these amazing nonfiction books that talk to us about the operations of the mind. They all meet. I feel like I embody why and I give a very easy clean framework.
I’m a Life Coach, I’m a Meditation Teacher, I’m an Insight Timer. I’ve done a TED Talk on stop searching, stop looking for your purpose. We are our purpose. I wrote a book, Transcend The Anxiety: From Fear to Freedom. I’m just opening up my expression to share the beauty and the celebration of the human journey.
The ‘How To’ Paradox: Releasing Control & Manifesting Desire
One thing I want to share with you is, for years, I’m a big believer that sometimes, the things that we need to make part of ourself are maybe a phrase or something we print it out and we put it somewhere that where we see it every day. Even though you may not consciously like go, “There’s that saying,” still, your brain is still seeing it. You’re still processing it.
One of the things I know as an entrepreneur and just as a person, one of those questions all the time is how do I. How do I do this? How do I achieve this? How do I get this thing that I desire? I came up with this years ago. Up on my mirror, it says, “How do I… I already am,” meaning the question is the fact that I’m asking how means I already have the answer. Sometimes it takes a while to find the actual how do I do this, but that’s okay. There’s a lot of learning that goes on in the struggle. Have you ever read The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle?
No.
That might be a book that really would resonate with you. He just talks about how when we learn something, it’s around the 10,000 hours, but that we have to practice. When we’re struggling to learn something, that’s actually where the most learning happens versus you just try something and you’re able to do it right away. There’s not a lot of neural connection. It talks about the neural connections and myelin sheath of the superhighway to do something.
I’d like that book and I’m like, “Yeah.” I love to break things down for my clients and stuff like that because I think all too often, we take these complex things and we go, “It’s so hard.” I guess also being a History major, along with being a Psychology major, I look and go, “History’s important. If we observe it, we’re not doomed to repeat it.” Something like handwriting. Remember when you were in kindergarten, first grade? Learning how to write A, B, C, so challenging. Now, there’s barely any conscious thinking. You may be, “How do I spell that?” You’re not like, “How do I make an A? How do I make a B, etc.?” You like that, don’t you?
I love it because the opening of my book says, “It’s hard until it’s not.” Yes, riding bike is hard. Rollerblading is hard. Writing is hard. Reading is hard. Talking is hard. Even one of the things that just really was so curious when I was a mother, teaching to sleep and eating and nursing is hard until it’s not. It is not together. Let’s overcome whether it’s that 10,000 because I’ve heard of the concept of the account code.
All fiction is actually nonfiction. It talks about what the elements of life are.
Whether it’s that 10,000 hours or less or more, let’s not focus on the hard, but focus on the pleasure, the process, the journey of it, without being so cliché. I also want to say something else to what you said, Zander, when you were talking about the how to… One of the things I love is attraction and manifestation. I love it. I think when we get to it, I believe we’re vibrational beings. We can talk about in the spiritual woo-woo area way.
I believe that we’re spiritual and I believe that it meets religion that because you believe in a supreme something. Whether it’s energy, vibration, God, it’s all the same thing. One of the most amazing parts of manifestation is when I realized you don’t need to know the how. You don’t ask the how. You actually just invite the desire and step back and allow the universe to serendipitously bring and deliver the desire through its how.
Can you expand on that a little for people? I totally get it, but there may be people reading going, “All right. What exactly does that mean, invited in?” I assume that we’re talking about put it out to the universe that this is something that you want, desire, need, however you want to put it in the universe.
What is it that we usually desire? Success, relationship, money, health. The three things are usually something to do with the body, which is our health strength, lose weight, something to do our self-image, something to do with relationships, wanting love or a partner. Maybe something with our family or friends and some form of success. Whether it’s to write a book, make money or career, whatever it might be, it’s in those three.
I’m going to say an aside, I love Law of Attraction, but when I do my teaching, I usually stay away from that because I believe that that’s so external and it’s all about the internal calibration. Those three, whether it’s health, success, relationship, money, it’s all of our in desire. I’m putting my hand up here in the egoic body to recognize our infinite and unconditional worthiness.
Why do we want a job? To show that we’re good enough. Why do we want to be the president or the CEO or have a bank account full of money? It’s because we want to show that we’re successful. Instead of us knowing it internally that I’m worthy. It’s like, “My car, that Porsche 911, it’s going to show that I am really worthy,” or, that relationship, that instead of recognizing I am love, I am joy, I am happiness, we “need” a relationship, whether it’s a partner, whether it’s our friends, whether it’s our parents, whether it’s our children to show and say, “You’re so lovable, you’re so loved.”
We are love. Ultimately, again, the money, the career, what it could be, it’s also we think that it’s going to give us our freedom and our travel, but ultimately, we are free. Put it to the side that I like us to internally calibrate rather than externally calibrate. We are humans on this amazing human journey and we’re creators. We’re here to manifest and create. If I think of why we are here, we are here to create, to have fun, to enjoy this human experience and manifestation after we internally calibrate is one of the greatest joys and pleasure. Let’s invite something. What should we invite, Zander?
‘Not Yet’ Dreams: Embracing The Epic Process
I’m going to say that because one of the things I talk about in my book, which I think is so important, when people are on their epic journey, is the fact that oftentimes, these epic things that we’d like to do in our life, be it write a book, run a marathon, travel somewhere, it takes time. For me, I think the two most powerful words to keep in mind for it to be your passenger are not yet.
“Have you finished your book?” “Not yet.” It doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to. It just means you are working on it. It takes time. I went to graduate school at 45. I’m now a Licensed Professional and Clinical Counselor. That was a long journey between graduate school, getting the internship to be able to take the exam to get licensed. “Are you licensed?” “Not yet.” If I just said no, it makes it sound like it will never happen. My question for you in this whole manifestation is what are 1 or 2 of your not yets? Those things that you dream of doing, but they just haven’t happened.
I’m going to take our translation. My not yet is a time that’s best for your highest good, allowing or creating. Writing that book, when we’re doing it from a place of should and a place of trying to validate our worthiness, it is going to take a very long time and feel very sluggish. It’s going to feel like a chore. That’s the same as doing my dishes, doing my laundry, making my bed, whatever it might be.
If I’m doing it from a place of should, place of guilt, it’s actually demonstrating my sense of worth, giving me my happiness, the belief that it’s going to ultimately gimme my freedom, it’s going to take a long time and it’s going to be painful. If we’re doing it from a place of, “I am just so excited with life and I am just wanting to share. I am happy,” and we’re calibrated, it’s not filling the internal. It’s a source of external joy because the internal is full, that’s what the language that I use.
What is my not yet? My not yet is I have some picture books that I’m working on. I have a second book that I’m working on and I imagine, Zander, I like put my hands in my eyes, which it demonstrates like this, like not good enough or shame or something. Be on stage. Being on stage, not to be on stage, but to be in a room full of like-minded people and to raise the roof. What we’re doing on this show, I imagine traveling the world and raising the roof with like-minded people so we all can calibrate to that joy, the excitement, the epic nature of life.
Anything that we doubt that we hear from someone external to us only exists if we have that uncertainty, that shakiness within us.
I’m so with you because yes one of my not yets is a stadium full of people who are ready for their epic journey. They’re so excited to be there and all of that energy. I love being on stage. That’s my happy place. I often say that’s some of my life juice. The days I get to be on stage in front of an audience is great. Due to COVID and even though lots of virtual conferences and I have to record a talk that will be in a virtual conference, although I’m honored to be asked, it is so much more challenging to go give a 30-minute speech, have all the energy, clearly you and I both have our excitement, but not have the feedback from the audience.
I was doing a speech a couple of years ago to record it and there were some funny things that I was saying, and so I’m pausing. Pause for the laughter, but I don’t know how long the laughter is. Either I start to talk and people are still laughing or people are like, “Is there a problem with his audio? Why is he not talking?” You don’t know. Whereas when you’re live, you’re like, “The audience is liking that. They’re vibing off of what I got to say. Great. I’ll go more with that,” or, “The audience doesn’t seem to be picking up that. Alright, let me shift that.” Yeah, I totally get it. Let’s fill stadiums and rock the roof off.
I have a feeling we’re going to be on stage together at some point.
That would be so much fun.
I have that feeling.
Although, I do have to say between your energy and my energy, people might be like, “Whoa.” If there were that color of energy, people would be like, “There’s this wall of energy that I’m not quite sure what to do with, but no, it’s all good.” That would be awesome. One of the things that I talk about, and you touched on, it’s that things that we desire, you were talking about driving the Porsche 911 and stuff like that.
My experience in some of my epic adventures and journeys, I’ll give an example. When I finished my first marathon, I had a bucket list. I had always wanted to do it and I was so excited. Probably about a half hour afterwards, I was like, “Now what?” I had achieved this thing, I’d worked so hard to achieve it, but oftentimes, we will say, “If only I could get that promotion. If I could drive this car. If I could do it.”
Once we get it, okay, now we have it. We’re excited for a moment, but you’re like, “All right, now I’m just driving a car.” No matter how fabulous a car is, it’s a car, be it a Honda or a Porsche. Also, they do the same thing and drive pretty similar. It’s not like Porsche hooks something up to your brain and it just brings you where you want to go. In the work that you do, like, “I achieved this goal that I wanted, but now what? How do I keep having the satisfaction?” Finishing the marathon was awesome. I don’t want to downplay it, but it was, I don’t know, fleeting.
Red Sweater Theory: Internal Vs External Triggers
I understand your question so well, Zander, and I’m going to just say something. Regarding the marathon, I am so happy that it was never on my bucket list. I’m almost like, “Why are you guys doing this?” I know people who have done so many marathons, but that’s just my funniest aside. Should we pause to let everybody laugh that one out?
I ask question so frequently and it wasn’t just about the accomplishments and the external vices. I’m going to use the word vices. We let the external things and it’s was also about relationships because there was a point where I understood that anything that you “feel” triggers that we have. It’s not about the person across from you, it’s about you.
It’s your internal, because ultimately, I call it my red sweater theory. If I say to you right now, “Zander, that red looks awful on you,” you’re going to look at your shirt and say, “Manal, this is black. You’re out for lunch.” If I say to you, “That black does not do you anything, Zander,” you might have some self-doubt.
Anything that we doubt that we hear from someone external to us only exists if we have that uncertainty, that shakiness within us. It’s my red sweater theory. Ultimately, I’m like, “If I’m fine on my own, but anytime I get triggered, it’s about me, not about them, what are relationships for then? I should be growing internally when I’m with myself. I don’t annoy myself and other people annoy me. It’s like, what are relationships for?
The same thing is like, okay, if we’re supposed to be happy, regardless of the Porsche, and I’m sorry if we’re picking on Porsches, I think they’re lovely cars. I had one and I’m going to turn around, “Why I’m going to buy another one when I think it’s this? It’s that we’re internally satisfied. It’s not the Porsche that’s giving me my self-worth and giving me my value and giving my freedom. It’s not the bank account. I’m already calibrated to knowing I am infinitely amazing, worthy, free and loved. I recognize that anything that experience within my life is to help me calibrate and grow and to expand.
We will never, ever feel infinitely worthy, loved and free until the day that we die. It’s just part of the human experience. When I drive and desire the Porsche, it’s because I love the purr of that engine. There is no other car that I have driven, and I’ve driven a lot of beautiful cars, that have the same beautiful purr. Sure. It is a purr and you can get in an Audi and the Audi has a strong power.
We will never, ever feel infinitely worthy, loved and free until the day that we die. It’s just part of the human experience.
You can’t get into another car other than an Audi. I hope that this isn’t controversial. I love Tesla, I love the technology and there is no car that has the technology and the smart features as a Tesla. It’s for the joy of the technology and the joy of the purr and the joy of the marathon and the joy of the relationship and how they amplify not the internal, but they provide external happiness. I’m already internally calibrated to my inherent internal worthiness love and freedom. It’s just a vehicle for enjoying and enhancing a human physical experience, but it has nothing to do with my innate value. That’s how we separate it.
There two things that popped into my head. First of all, there’s a famous quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that no one can make you feel bad without your permission. That whole example of red sweater. It’s funny how someone walking down the street could say, “That sweater’s ugly.” You don’t know them. You’re like, “Yeah, okay. Whatever. I don’t know you, whatever.”
However, your partner, your friend, your mom, “That doesn’t look good on you,” you’re like, “Oh my God.” It’s one of those I’ll say eternal questions that I notice. I notice it in myself and with people that I work with, which the meanest person in our life is ourself. What you’re talking about is you should be your number one cheerleader.
You should really love you because the fact of the matter is you can’t get love if you don’t love yourself. If you don’t feel that you’re worthy, if the things that you say to yourself on a daily basis as you’re trying to be successful or trying to achieve something is, “You’re going to fail. You’re not good enough, you’re not going to do it,” we all have that. That is part of the human experience. That’s part of consciousness, some self-doubt. Saying, “No, I am going to achieve it. Maybe today, I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped, but I’m still taking one step forward.” That’s really how it happens.
I can tell you, having run 10 halves, 4 fulls and a 50K Ultra , I don’t run nearly as much, it’s not easy. There are miles there that are really hard. I am not a fast runner, trust me, but I knew I was going to finish. If I had to crawl across that finish line, I was going to finish. I think that’s like any challenging thing that we’re doing. Just believe that you can do it. Look, we don’t have all the answers to everything.
I have to say, I laugh because I look at the psychology of people living their life every day. I got up this morning, I do not have all the answers to everything that will be asked of me today, but it didn’t prevent me from getting out of bed. Yet when I am working with people or you’re working with people and there’s something that they’re trying to achieve, be it spiritual or job, love, whatever, I don’t know exactly all the steps to take to write the book.
I’ve written three books. I’m a talker, not a typer. If you asked me in college whether I’d write a book, I’d be like, “Absolutely not. I hate writing. What are you talking about?” Yet, I had something to say. I sat down and figured out how I could write a book. I think that first of all, be kind to yourself people. Don’t be the meanest person in your life. Also, be a cheerleader. If you don’t believe in you. No one else is. We don’t turn on the TV. We’ll pick on Porsche just one more time. Porsche doesn’t say, “Buy our car.” By the way, every time you need an oil change, it’s $1,000. After 50,000 miles, the transmission may fall out on the ground. They don’t advertise that way.
That’s not how advertising goes. “This is an awesome car. Listen to it purr. You get to join the Porsche Club of America and hang out with other people who love Porsche and wear Porsche hats and satin Porsche jackets. That’s how we sell stuff. Why are we not selling ourself the same way? Let me tell you about the good things about me. We all have bad things, but we’re not out there going, “Come on my podcast. I talk way too much and might not let you talk enough. I have really inane stories and go off on tangents and stuff, but come on my podcast.” That’s not how I’m going to get a guest. Let’s talk about everything epic. I want to share my epic. I want you to share your epic.
Reclaiming Your Truth: The Power Of Self-Love
I love all of this. I love it all. I’m going to again translate it into Manal speak, to mattain. Let’s translate it because you got epic speak and we got mattain speak. First of all, let me say what mattain means. My name is Manal and in Arabic, that means at my parents are Egyptian. I’m a pure-bred Egyptian. In Egyptian, Manal means attainment. I called my coaching company that’s helping people find their empowerment Mattain. I put the M in front of attain.
It’s about attaining the life you desire. Okay, so taking the life of your desire. Mattain speak would say not even self-love. I’m going to go a step further. We are love. You are love. I am love. We are love. We are innately, unconditionally, infinitely worthy. Love and free. This is what we are. It’s just reclaim the truth of who you are.
It’s not an action that you need to do. It’s a realization. It’s a realization of our truth. I love so much, Zander, how you’re talking about one step up at a time and you’re talking about not yet because all of this is what you’re saying is it’s all in the journey. Absolutely. We’re human beings experiencing this human journey. Enjoy the journey. The fact that we’re creators/manifestors/makers, it means that we’re doing. It’s not done. Everything can’t be done because if everything’s done, what are we doing? If my cake is already baked, because I first I thought I was a fake. I’m a fraud because I’m going on there and talking and, and yeah, I wrote my book, but no, I don’t have like my million this and I don’t have this. I’m like, “Manal, stop it.”
Stop going down on what you haven’t done and recognize that you’re on a journey. It doesn’t matter when your journey started and when it ends, that we’re on a journey and honor the creation whenever you’re inspired to create. What you’re saying with your epic one step forward, not yet, it’s like readers, clients, followers, people, we’re human. We’re here for the joy of being here.
If joy brings means running a marathon, go for it. If joy means driving a beautiful Porsche, go for it. If joy means living by the lake or the ocean or the trees or the forest or the city. Go for it. If joy means you’re on stage and you’re like singing and dancing with other people, go for it and enjoy the baking of the cake. It means not yet. It’s still baking. One minute, one moment. One step at a time.
Manel, this has been incredible. The time goes by so fast when you’re with like-minded people. How can people get ahold of you? How can they mattain a little more?
My website, www.Mattain.me. If you go to Mattain.me/joinus, then you become part of the Mattain Tribe and you’ll get some goodies, and so I invite you. On social media. It’s @MattainByManal. Insight Timer. I love my Insight Timer community. On there, it’s Manal-Mattain because there I’m a person first, not a company. You can find me there. I’m on YouTube, Instagram, and LinkedIn as well. I just love to engage with you. We’re saying the same thing. It’s just like, “What are you driving and what am I driving?” It’s like we’re just driving different vehicles and speaking in different ways but we’re saying exactly the same thing. We’re both wearing black.
We are. Totally unplanned, but there we are.
I didn’t mention, sorry, my book as well. On Amazon, Transcending Anxiety: From Fear to Freedom. We didn’t talk about my framework, how a simple framework, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 5 steps, 4 bodies, 3 desires, 2 states, 1 truth. We can talk about that another time, Zander, but that’s another way. I didn’t want to short-sell the audience by not mentioning the book as well as a way to access a lot of the truths that I present.
Manal, I want to thank you so much for joining me. Truly an epic conversation.
Fabulous.
I want to remind everyone that if you’re ready to begin your epic journey, go to EpicBegins.com. As always, remember, epic choices lead to the epic life that you want.
Important Links
- Manal El-Ramly
- Good To Great
- The E-Myth
- Transcend The Anxiety: From Fear to Freedom
- The Talent Code
- Join the Mattain Tribe
- Manal El-Ramly on Instagram
- Manal El-Ramly on Insight Timer
- Manal El-Ramly on YouTube
- Manal El-Ramly on LinkedIn
About Manal El-Ramly
Our guest today is Manal El-Ramly, author of Transcending Anxiety: From Fear to Freedom, TEDx speaker (‘Why You Don’t Need to Search for Your Purpose’), creator of the Mattain Method, and a beloved teacher on Insight Timer.
Manal helps individuals overcome anxiety, limiting beliefs, and overwhelm by understanding and aligning their four bodies – physical, emotional, mental, and egoic – and utilizing her five-step process.
She’s here to share her 5-4-3-2-1 framework, offering practical tools to find inner peace, worthiness, freedom, love and power, even in challenging times.